


Listen

by Justahumbletrashcan



Series: Phan Oneshots [4]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Daniel Howell - Freeform, KickThePj - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Phil Lester - Freeform, carrie hope fletcher - Freeform, crabstickz - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 11:02:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15314088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justahumbletrashcan/pseuds/Justahumbletrashcan
Summary: Phil has something to tell Dan, but he is always busy.





	Listen

**Phil~**

"Dan, there's something-"  
"Phil I'm really sorry but can it wait? I just need to finishing editing..."  
"Oh, yeah sure it's nothing important."  
"Thanks, I'll listen later I promise."  
And there he goes again, after yet another failed attempt. Why can't he just stop and _listen?_ You'd think after a week of constantly trying to get his attention long enough just to say three words I would've managed by now, but no. Only after nearly eight years have I finally decided just to tell him how I feel, screw the consequences, and the fact that it seems to be impossible is just making it so much worse.

I can't even fully put into words how much I love him, how much Dan means to me. The moment he came into my life, all shy smiles and floppy fringes, I knew I could never let him go. Ever. It's like I found my soulmate, but he just doesn't know it yet. Or doesn't want to know it- but I hope it's the first one. I'd walk over hot coals for him, hell I'd die for him, but I really don't think he feels the same way, and to have that confirmed by him would crush me completely. That's just a risk I'm going to have to take I guess. Maybe tomorrow.

***time skip to next day***

Since we have no plans, I feel like today could be the day. But not now, later. I think tonight could be good? Yes, tonight I'll tell him. I can do it, I know I can. With that in mind, I rehearse what I'm going to say all day, whilst Dan drifts about obliviously. Soon enough the time has come; I feel sick to my stomach. He spots me hovering by the lounge door, meeting my eyes with a wide smile as I approach him nervously. I can do this. "Dan-" "Hey Phil, we've been invited to Chris and PJ's tonight for a party, I forgot to tell you. Wanna go?" Not again- how many times am I going to psyche myself up, prepare myself for my life to come crashing down, just to get brushed aside? "Oh, yeah sure. I'll go get ready." I really, really didn't want to go out tonight, but how could I say no to that face? Besides, I'd do anything to keep him happy.

"PHIL COME ON!" He waits by the door restlessly as I rush about upstairs, making sure I look absolutely perfect so that Dan might notice me. Not that that's likely, (I believe he's straight) but I'm wearing my tightest jeans _just_ in case. It's a feast to my eyes when I meet him at the door; dressed head-to-toe in black, his jeans gloriously tight and hair beautifully curly. Dear God he's so hot. I wonder if he realises it? "Okay, okay, I'm here! Let's go."

The short walk to Chris and PJ's apartment feels like an eternity as we walk in awkward silence along the darkening streets. Dan is uncharacteristically quiet, so much so that I begin to wonder what's on his mind; I bet it's not anything as stupid as mine. Maybe he's thinking about some girl...

The awkwardness is quickly forgotten, however, when we're swept into the party, now in full swing. Chris and PJ are suspiciously (or not) nowhere to be seen. Probably in some corner somewhere making out. Suddenly, I'm pulled into the kitchen by a tipsy Carrie, who thrusts a beer into my hand with a grin. "Heeeyyy Phil!" She giggles, bouncing to the blaring music. "Let's go daaance!"

Hours later, I still haven't run back into Dan, which is funny considering Chris and PJ's apartment really isn't that big. I wade through the sea of drunken bodies, wincing as the music pounds in my ears, giving me a headache. My search is soon ended though when I find Dan chatting to PJ in the corner, their heads a distance apart that sends a knife of jealousy into my chest. _But PJ is taken, Phil. Control yourself_. Surprisingly, Dan looks reasonably sober too; a rare sight when there's alcohol around. "Phil!" The happiness written across his features is enough to banish any jealousy, and I almost can't help but feel there may be something between us.

"PJ reckons that brunette over there would be a good match for you, whadd'ya think?" Oh for god's sake. I think I'll just come out with it now, whilst everyone is too drunk to notice."She's pretty, yeah, but actually Dan, I-"  
"Go on, just go say hi." Why, oh why, won't he just shut the hell up and listen to me?  
"No I don't want-"  
"Fine I'll just call her over." Dan stands up and catches the eye of the brunette in question, and suddenly, I just can't take it anymore. Anger pulsing through me, I jump to my feet. "FOR FUCK'S SAKE DAN!" He springs back in alarm, speechless. "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME? IF YOU WEREN'T SO OBLIVIOUS YOU WOULD'VE NOTICED BY NOW THAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING IMPORTANT FOR A WHOLE WEEK BUT NO! YOU'RE TOO SELF ABSORBED JUST TO STOP AND LISTEN FOR ONE BLOODY MINUTE AND I'M SICK OF IT!" By this time, Dan is glaring back at me, with PJ at his side looking absolutely terrified. "SINCE WHEN DID MY LIFE REVOLVE AROUND YOU PHIL? SUDDENLY WHEN I'M TOO BUSY TO LISTEN TO YOU ONE OR TWO TIMES I'M A SELF ABSORBED PRICK?! IF IT'S SO FUCKING IMPORTANT THEN WHY NOT JUST SAY IT NOW?" Despite the alcohol, the whole room has fallen silent, but right now I'm too furious to care. "I BLOODY LOVE YOU ALRIGHT? I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR EIGHT GODDAMN YEARS, AND YOU'RE TOO BLIND TO SEE IT! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?" Dan freezes and I can't handle the weight of the room's gaze any longer. Shoving past everyone in my path, I run upstairs and throw myself through the nearest door. Tears now streaming down my cheeks, I hurl myself onto the bed, burying my face in the sheets. _What have I done?_

My misery is interrupted when I hear a knock on the door. "Phil?" Oh no, it's Dan. He's come up to reject me. I can do nothing but let out a single whimper, the door swinging open seconds later. "Oh god Phil!" The sudden presence of warm arms around me is comforting in a bittersweet way, because I know he'll never truly be mine. His fingers trace light circles on my back, and I can't help but relax into his embrace as my tears keep falling. Eventually, we pull apart and Dan looks into my eyes in a way that I really wish he wouldn't. "Dan, I'm sorry, I know you probably hate me now-" He presses a finger to my lips, his free hand lifting to hold my cheek. "No, I'm sorry Phil. I should've stopped to listen to you, and realised that it was important. You should know that I couldn't possibly hate you, ever. You're my world, Phil. I was an idiot for not telling you sooner." Shock renders me speechless as my brain struggles to comprehend what Dan just confessed. "You-you like me too?"  
"I always have..." Any other words are forgotten as our lips collide, all our love for each other pouring into the kiss.

Our moment is interrupted when a hammered Chris bursts in, dragging a resigned PJ behind him. He's not too drunk to realise what's going on, though. A wide smirk grows on Chris' features as he turns to PJ smugly. "You owe me fifty quid Mr Liguori."


End file.
